THE BOOK I AM PREGNANT OF

I have started to write my book this morning.

Something has happened in this last week that has deeply upset my life for a few days at the point that I have almost decided to stop writing. Then I thought whatever happens in your life, there is always a good reason, find it and work on yourself.

I must say, it is not an easy task. The natural inclination is to blame others, our life and the unfortunate destiny. But what about our responsibility? Becoming aware of the responsibility we hold in every single event happening in our life is freedom from the burden of feeling stuck and powerless. So I realized that I had to put into practice what is purely knowledge and wisdom.

All of a sudden I realized that I was postponing the pleasure of starting writing my book for the inner fear of not succeeding oh gosh how can you fill in hundreds of pages? Finding daily excuses just to be busy and not to sit in front of my computer, face to face with my everlasting dream of being a writer.

So this morning I sat and started writing.

My intent is to write letting the flow of my story and feelings go on and on. I do not know where I am going to land and how, but I have told myself not to judge my writing until the book is finished. I will not let the Censor be the dictator of my life and pull me down. That is my life, I take the responsibility to LIVE IT.

I had the inspiration for this story in August last year, while I was spooning the most exquisite pulses soup to my family it is winter in South Africa, we have lots of hot soups… it was like a lightning on a summer day: unexpected. I started to cuddle the idea, to nurture the inspiration but I was still far from the action of sitting and writing. You know the idea of realizing something is harmless; the action of realizing the idea can be harmful. At least I was using this “philosophy” as excuse to avoid coming into action.

Till the accident occurred few days ago. This accident led me to think I want to stop writing and do something more “useful” in life; I was about to give up. But this morning I just sat and started to write. I looked at the computer screen with tender love and thought hi there, I am here. We are going to spend quite a long time together, I am sure we’ll be friends. I will not judge you and you won’t judge me. We’ll be supporting each other with love and care.

After I wrote the beginning of the book, I had to be back to my motherhood’s duty of fetching the kids from school, bringing them to swim, going to the supermarket, fetching my boy after the soccer match, healing his wounds, checking on the homework and on the piano practice, baking pizza for dinner yeah, that was tonight’s menu and putting them into bed before sitting again, in front of my lap top, to write this post.

But today, I did all this feeling in love…I was deep in though and cheerful like when you are in love for the first time in your life.

I realized that I had my inspiration exactly nine months ago…The picture is clear now, the book I am pregnant of is ready to be delivered.

Ah…what a joy.

I might be busy in the next future but I will try to keep on reading your posts and writing my blog, keeping you updated on how the baby is growing.

Strong and healthy…

Love&Rainbow

Copyright2010LorenzaVerdini

MOTHER'S DAY

Mother’s Day has just gone by.

I have never been too fond of celebrations which I feel too commercial (sorry I really dislike Valentine’s Day… I cannot help it) but I start to appreciate the importance of being celebrated once a year.

If we take it as a “healthy pit stop” it is really worth while giving time to reflections.

So I did. I took my kids out for lunch and I made the point of my “motherhood career” while having delicious Italian food.

I was asking them what are my best and strong sides and behaviors and what they dislike or feel irritated of. If they don’t tell me, I don’t know…

So, one at the time, they spoke to me.

I felt they struggled in finding the downsides for a simple reason: because children’s love is unconditional. I know where I have to improve and I pointed it out, but they seemed to focus on the positive sides.

Again, another good lesson of Life.

So, half amazed and half comforted I ended up ordering pavlova for everybody and the best espresso for me.

I was spoiled from the morning as they prepared breakfast for me and my small girls wrote nice cards.

I sent messages to my friends and I got back some nice ones that I like to quote:

Happy mother’s day to all the mothers! God made them as he could not be everywhere!

ROOM SERVICE!

Good morning, a special breakfast for you today: a glass of CARE, plate of LOVE, cup of PEACE, a jug of SUPPORT and a big bowl of PRAYERS!

Have a happy Mother’s Day!

A mum has strengths that no one will ever know. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens…she holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid. Her love is unconditional! There is only one thing wrong with her, she sometimes forgets what she is worth! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Beautiful people reflect God in their lives. They think His thoughts, speak His words, and love without end. May you always remain as beautiful a mother as you are! Happy mother’s day

The blessed mother of four children and a woman radiating beauty and goodness all around her. Have a lovely and restful Mother’s Day!

To all our beautiful soul mates, as mothers we applaud and celebrate your love that no one can explain. It is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain, it is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may. For nothing can destroy it or take that love away. It is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, and it never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking…It believes beyond believing when the world around condemns, and it glows with all the beauty of the rarest, brightest gems… It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanations, and it still remains a secret like the mysteries of creation…God bless you all for our evergreen lives. Have a spectacular day

I really had an unforgettable day.

Love & Rainbow

THANK YOU NO. 44

In the last past few weeks I have struggled in finding my inner voice , the one which has to come out louder, laughing, joyful, childish. The one that makes me see the point of blogging and writing.

I guess it is a physiological way to go through. ok... I accept it, I am human. The bionicle woman exist only in the comics...I guess one of the lessons I have to learn in this life time is to fight for the important things , to stand up for what I believe in; and as there are things which still hurt me deeply I have taken the decision, probably shocking for some of you, to go see in my past lives to see what are the "unsolved issues" that come back into my life.

For those, who like me, believe in the immortality of the soul, the karma and past lives, we all know that we bring strong impressions from our past lives and what we bring in, usually is unsolved issues. So whatever we resist, persist. It is time now to make it clear.

As weird as it might appear, I want to find out, to unfold the knots which still make me feel bound in the wrong way. So, I ll probably go through a past lives regression process soon.

In this big melting pot of controversial feelings, I have also been thinking to stop blogging, purely because I have lost the goal of my inner fire . But today, when I bumped into my blog, I saw a new follower, no. 44 oh wow!!! and this went straight to rekindle a little bit of the lost fire. But it also went to my heart.

Thank to you all but thanks to no. 44 as you are an important number in my life.

Love& Rainbow