DRIVING GRANNY

Driving in the traffic can be exhilarating sometimes.

If I don’t get distracted in a dangerous way, the rest is a movie.

Yesterday I was driving to fetch the kids at school, changing my usual way because one traffic lights hasn’t been working for one week at the crossing between William Nicol Drive and the high way to Pretoria. This means a huge traffic jam at any time of the day in such a high density traffic road. That consequently creates delays and stress, so when you change your way, looking for better options, the mood is not that great.

I was fine.

Listening to classical music.

Now you know me don’t you?

My Zen attitude untouched by taking a longer way to school.

Shame other people are not as relaxed as I am…

The traffic lights is green, I turn left to get into Witkoppen Road when I hear the rumble of a broken silencer from a small old Toyota that is coming from the right at the highest speed.

I am not joking: she was driving like crazy, cutting my way off so that I could see who is that mad woman?

The Schumacher driver was an eighty-year old at least woman with a cigarette stub leaning from her lips, black sunglasses, clinging to the steering-wheel like she was driving a Testarossa on a desert highway.

Jeez what has she been eating in the last fifty years? I thought, but I couldn’t help laughing, she was looking like the sprightly granny of Madagascar 2 those who have got kids know her very well.

She was absolutely fantastic.

The very same day, later on while I was parking my car in a shopping center, before chasing for food in the supermarket, I hear a terribly loud music, probably country music form the late seventies, coming from a convertible car.

Ladies and gentlemen here it is Bridget Jones’ sister, much older sister, wearing a hat with a large brim like a Holly Hobby doll dancing and singing at the top of her voice, in her flowery vintage dress…

Jeez what has she been smoking in the last twenty-five years?

But I honestly thought she is fantastic, a version of the middle age lonely woman in search for freedom and identity…the new version of Thelma and Louise. Is she Thelma or Louise?

Still deep in thought, with a big smile in my heart, off I go to fill the fridge with the shopping.

Hey Bob I did not forget anything!

I enter the roadway slowly, turning left we drive on the left side, like in England when a real gentleman speeds off, from a hundred meter distance, cut my way and looking at me angrily he shows me the middle finger.

Jeez…what have you been doing in the last 25 hours?

I meet him again at the traffic light, farther down and he looks at me chewing swearwords in Afrikaans sorry I understand the only the English ones… Looking intensely in his eyes I wave my hand, smile at him with my 32 teeth and send him a kiss.

He hasn’t been able to speed off anymore.

Love & Rainbow

Copyright2009LorenzaVerdini