THE JOURNEY part 4

In this last part of my journey I understand the meaning of having met my father, who passed away in 2001. It is the amazing end of this incredible session that lasted in total not more than 2 hours.

 

 

The eight of us decide to leave the heart. We go up to a metallic stairs, in a single file. The stairs is very steep and leads us very high to a door. I open it and…there is only void, the sky is blue, we cannot go back. We can only jump into this open space. Holding hands, we jump into the void, in the infinite blue sky. It is fantastic, I cannot really describe it, we are flying together, weightlessness in the infinite. We are not scared, it is absolutely beautiful. Free from our bodies, fears, thoughts. We only feel joy.

After a while we land softly on a flourishing green grass where we find a light aircraft. My father is silently waiting for us at the aircraft’s door. He looks very pale and he’s wearing white clothes. The aircraft takes off flying through the most stunning landscape I have ever seen: luxuriant nature, waterfalls, birds, animals. It’s so beautiful that I am speechless, I only FEEL the beauty surrounding me, my nose glued at the aircraft’s window. I am overwhelmed when I realise that my father is piloting. I cannot hold back my sobs of joy, shaken by the deep meaning of what I see and perceive.

Everything is clear, no words are needed.

The small aircraft lands softly on a golf course; we get out one at the time, silently. Still in silence I turn myself to look at my father, one last time, he is near the aircraft. I feel a sharp pain in my heart for this ineluctable separation.

We go walking through a rocky path that leads us to a Club House: there we find our shuttle and I understand it is time to go back. I hug my mother, my daughters Clara and Eva, my young sister and me and we leave. In a second we are back to the dark place where there is the door with striking light behind. We get off the shuttle, going to open that door again. A strong sunlight and a pleasant breeze overcome me, I need to know where we are. It is High Mountain, witness of Life and History, so majestic that I feel to be nothing and everything with the Universe. I look around; we are very high, only surrounded by mountains and open space. I am in pure bliss, I could stay like that forever. There is no time, no body, and no mind. Only energy. PURE ENERGY. I don’t know for how long I live the intensity of that moment, I feel I am part of Life with all my cells, in a Life vortex that will always BE. When I start feeling the fresh grass under my feet and look at the beauty of the nature around me, I see that there is a cableway waiting for us. We take it to travel through the open space that takes us down. And there, we find our husbands and children waiting for us anxiously.

And I can only feel LOVE knowing that my journey has come to an end.

 

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini

THE JOURNEY part 3

In this part of my Journey, we land into my heart. It is a very strong experience because there I meet important people in my life.

 

 

Our shuttle takes us somewhere else, but I do not know what to expect. I get off warily, I have got the feeling to be at a King’s court. I look around and see a huge heart that dominates majestically this place. It is beautiful, red, with a white vein that runs through it like an upside down V. Like my small pebble, my fellow traveller. I feel moved because I can see it beating. My sister and I get closer to see it better; the more we get closer, the more curious we are. It is huge, imposing, rhythmically beating just in front of me. I feel very small and have a feeling of deep respect: I know I am in the presence of a King. I want to see what it looks like so, calling my sister I hold her hand and we jump inside the heart. I am speechless: there is psychedelic lights and disco dance music of the 80s. We start to laugh and dance in unrestrained way, like two young girls for the first time in a disco. It ‘s an awesome feeling, the ground is so soft and swinging it feels like being on a water mattress. We start jumping high like on a trampoline, and we laugh. And more we laugh the more we jump. Betty is really cool. We jump, we fall, we get up, we tumble turn, we jump again and we laugh inside this crazy heart that gives us such a fun! Exhausted but happy we sit on the soft ground, cross-legged in front of each other. We stay still for a while, just looking into each other’s eyes and communicating with our hearts. I feel somebody’s presence and turning my face I see two young girls, smiling quietly next to us. I look at them but I know who they are. I recognize them, it is us when we were children. Suddenly a lightning in my mind: Betty the princess no.2, the one always responsible and mature, the one of  “work before pleasure”, the shorter and chubby one, a talent who does not win, the one who hasn’t got fighting temper. I feel a terrible pain and silent tears start rolling down my cheeks: I can feel, in every cell of my body what my sister, as a child, feels. I am her, in every breath and every glance. And I understand. I have never thought about it, why? Why I have never realised how difficult it could be for her to have a sister who is often first? I did not want this, I did not want to hurt her. I did not want differences between us. The two of us children are smiling and quiet. They are playing together. They are pretty; I can see they love each other a lot. So true love is stronger than difference, than sorrow, than shade. I now understand that maybe I was the favourite one and my heart feels a sharp pain. I turn myself and I see my youngest daughters, Clara and Eva; they are playing nicely with the two of us children. I understand, I understand, I understand everything. And on the other side I see my parents. We are eight people sitting in circle. We communicate without talking. But it is time to leave the heart.

 

 

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini

THE JOURNEY part 2

The second part of the Journey takes us into my right hand, probably because at the time it was sore for a drip’s needle that had come out of the vein, during my first chemo, making my hand swollen and bluish. Then it takes us into my womb.

 

 

All of a sudden we find ourselves in a very messy place: I see lots of wooden cases on the floor that seem the explosive’s ones of the pirates. I can’t help thinking that I wouldn’t be amazed to meet Jack Sparrow. We get our torches again to see better and I see four strings suspended in the air, they could be a musical instrument’s strings but they are huge. Inside, a muddy green liquid is flowing and a big knot blocks the second string. I have the feeling I am hearing voices from far; I suddenly realise that it’s the white specks’ sound. They are trapped and want to flow freely. My sister and I feel that we need to do something to help, but what exactly? We look intensely into our eyes and, hugging each other we softly put our cheeks over the knot to warm it up. It is a tender hug, a hug of warmth and love. We stay like that, timeless and thoughtless, for a while. When we lift our cheeks, the knot is undone; the white specks are flowing free and happy again. We look around, the feeling is that everything is all right, tidy, maybe it is time to keep on with our journey.

The shuttle is inviting us with its flashing golden button. I know I still need to visit and see many places. I push the button and one second later we find ourselves in a place that seems to be the Moon or a planet. The ground is smooth with some prominences that look like mushrooms. I am suddenly attracted by something, which is a silver rocky wall and seems to be endless…we get closer to see better and touch it: it is not a porous surface but hard to the touch. We touch it and touch it and touch it again, we need to know where we are. Then we look up for the edge of the wall and we realise that there is a round opening above our heads that connects us with the beautiful open sky. It is a wonderful sensation, like breathing only pure air, like to be born. From the round opening comes a beam of light, it is beautiful and unexpected, a true gift. We slowly go under the beam and, softly it catches and lifts us from the ground in a timeless cosmic dance. We have no body, there is no weight, only this circular slow rhythm of the dance. We stay like that, suspended in the air, for a while. It is only pure joy, we are soaked with the Light, feeling the Life energy. After indefinite time, the beam put as back on the floor. I cannot describe my feelings: it is only Life, Energy, Happiness. We leave for another unknown destination, my Journey is not finished yet.

 

 

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini

THE JOURNEY part 1

The Journey is basically a visualisation session where you go inside your body and see what’s there. It is a guided the experience where the practitioner is very important. There is no hypnosis or other techniques, only closing your eyes, relax and answer to the practitioner ‘s questions. It is a very natural way to release blockages stored inside one’s memory. Letting go is one of the most difficult things for a human being but it is also the way to feel free. Once we let go of old painful or bothering issues, we are on the path of FREEDOM. This is my Journey session, the way I recorded it on my Italian journal, about a month after I had it. I will write dividing it into several parts but it all happened in one session. The Journey started inside my breast...

I am breathing deeply, beating a time that is timeless, ancestral. I am alone with myself and the familiar shell of my body. I enjoy feeling my relaxed limbs and the stream of Life in me. I suddenly realise that all around me it is dark, except for some candlelights along the stairs. I start being curious and go down. It’ s like if I am looking for something that is waiting for me. I am wearing a white linen nightshirt but I don’t feel cold, I feel I am in a familiar place. I start going down the stairs, slowly, observing the candlelights on the ground. The stairs seem to be endless, each time I reach a place, I could carry on going down. I stop at a landing where the stairs divide in two: one goes even downer and it is darker; the other one on my left leads to a door that gives off an extraordinary light. I feel I want to open that door because behind it there is something or someone waiting for me. I open it and find my sister Betty smiling and warmly hugging me. We look at each other intensely, communicating without talking. Our hearts don’t need words. We get onto the open shuttle that is waiting for us, it has comfortable seats but what attracts me is a big golden flashing button. I push it and we take off at the speed of light. We land into a cave whose inside walls are smooth and pink; I feel it is a quiet place, healthy. We take the torches from the shuttle to see well: everything is pink and incredibly smooth but a big grey stone that looks like a bench. We get closer, I feel very curious, Betty follows me; we feel like being on holiday in Wonderland. The grey stone is porous like pumice; I look at it attentively then I stretch out on it. I like it, it is fun, so we both start to play: I behave like a movie star, she takes pictures of me. We feel cheerful and thoughtless. We decide to go somewhere else but all of a sudden I want to have a last look at the stone. I go back approaching it with my torch. I can see that underneath the stone’s surface there is multitude of white specks that move franticly everywhere trying to get out of it. Betty and I move away and sit down still staring at the stone. Suddenly the stone starts sparkling from the left corner; it looks like fireworks that become bigger and bigger till it covers the whole stone. When it ends there is no more stone left but only a pebble that has a white vein that looks like an upside down V. How cute, I think, putting it into my pocket before getting into the shuttle. We have enjoyed this first stop so we decide to carry on our trip, trusting our feelings. I push the golden button again. 

 

 

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini