GHOSTS

I believe in the Ghost of Technology.

It happens anytime I want to do things “properly” with my computer. Something goes wrong. Strange languages appear from nowhere, Internet connection is on but Internet has gone for coffee break. I can almost hear the ghost whistling in my ears I’ll get you wherever you are. No matter how you want to hide your weakness I’ll be over you. Forever.

So basically I wrote a new post this morning, saved it on as a word document on my memory stick and when I tried to put it on another computer (ah, that is a long story…where and when I write…) it came out with hieroglyphics…

I tried to negotiate a truce with the Ghost but it didn’t work.

I promised, I begged, I implored, I bent my knees.

I did not work. Merciless wandering spirit !

So I have just decided that because I am bloody busy I will let you know that:

1. Next week we’ll be leaving to Italy for 5 weeks, so I’ll be posting from my beloved Tuscany for a while. This makes a huge difference in the atmosphere, flavours and writing!
2. I will spend one of the five weeks in the middle of the Black Forrest, in Germany, in a silent retreat where I’ll do lots of yoga, meditation, breathing exercises and WRITING as there won’t be any talking! I am really looking forward to it.
3. My commitment for 2010: finding a computer course that possibly will set me free from the slavery of the Ghost! Any suggestion?
4. Last but not least I wish to welcome Miss Rae in between my followers: she is making my day because she broke off the steady heavy number of 23, that was as heavy as a grave, being my 24^th follower! Thanks for joining, I am glad I am growing !

I love you all!

Love & rainbow

DRIVING GRANNY

Driving in the traffic can be exhilarating sometimes.

If I don’t get distracted in a dangerous way, the rest is a movie.

Yesterday I was driving to fetch the kids at school, changing my usual way because one traffic lights hasn’t been working for one week at the crossing between William Nicol Drive and the high way to Pretoria. This means a huge traffic jam at any time of the day in such a high density traffic road. That consequently creates delays and stress, so when you change your way, looking for better options, the mood is not that great.

I was fine.

Listening to classical music.

Now you know me don’t you?

My Zen attitude untouched by taking a longer way to school.

Shame other people are not as relaxed as I am…

The traffic lights is green, I turn left to get into Witkoppen Road when I hear the rumble of a broken silencer from a small old Toyota that is coming from the right at the highest speed.

I am not joking: she was driving like crazy, cutting my way off so that I could see who is that mad woman?

The Schumacher driver was an eighty-year old at least woman with a cigarette stub leaning from her lips, black sunglasses, clinging to the steering-wheel like she was driving a Testarossa on a desert highway.

Jeez what has she been eating in the last fifty years? I thought, but I couldn’t help laughing, she was looking like the sprightly granny of Madagascar 2 those who have got kids know her very well.

She was absolutely fantastic.

The very same day, later on while I was parking my car in a shopping center, before chasing for food in the supermarket, I hear a terribly loud music, probably country music form the late seventies, coming from a convertible car.

Ladies and gentlemen here it is Bridget Jones’ sister, much older sister, wearing a hat with a large brim like a Holly Hobby doll dancing and singing at the top of her voice, in her flowery vintage dress…

Jeez what has she been smoking in the last twenty-five years?

But I honestly thought she is fantastic, a version of the middle age lonely woman in search for freedom and identity…the new version of Thelma and Louise. Is she Thelma or Louise?

Still deep in thought, with a big smile in my heart, off I go to fill the fridge with the shopping.

Hey Bob I did not forget anything!

I enter the roadway slowly, turning left we drive on the left side, like in England when a real gentleman speeds off, from a hundred meter distance, cut my way and looking at me angrily he shows me the middle finger.

Jeez…what have you been doing in the last 25 hours?

I meet him again at the traffic light, farther down and he looks at me chewing swearwords in Afrikaans sorry I understand the only the English ones… Looking intensely in his eyes I wave my hand, smile at him with my 32 teeth and send him a kiss.

He hasn’t been able to speed off anymore.

Love & Rainbow

Copyright2009LorenzaVerdini

MORK and MINDY

Today, because it is another beautiful day I won’t plan a single word of what I am going to write now but I never do. Which can be dangerous or, at least embarrassing.

I succeeded in introducing Google Translate on my blog, to make life easier to my Italian friends (they are not queuing at the Internet Café’ to read my blog but I know some of them are affectionate, so…). I was overwhelmed with joy for this successful step in my “computer education” when I decided to USE THE MONSTER.

I clicked on the Italian language and, at the first attempt it translated only 37 % of the post. It looked like a kind of psychotic text where every single word was messed up with English and Italian. Half a sentence was in Italian, half in English. I thought Jeeez what have I done? What strange key have I pressed? But because I am irreparably optimistic I waited a little bit and went for another try. This time the whole text was translated, so I ordered my cappuccino, sat comfortably and smiled admired at Google God Technology.

Well…well…what I was reading were not my words. Who wrote this? it was a kind of robotized monologue, coming from the worst of my nightmares. A real macho robotized monologue where the author the author it’s me guys, not him!!!! speaks in first person as a male! You probably know that my language is not only very old and traditional: it is a gentleman language where feminine and masculine still exist; where the feminine words end with an A and the masculine mostly end with O. The masculine words leave the way to the feminine ones with an elegant bow. When you talk in Italian you don’ t say BRAVO to a girl but BRAVA and I guess this is the charming difference it is not a big hassle, just come to Italy for 3 months and you’ll be fluently doing shopping, putting on weight and using your hands to talk in the street, I promise you. So basically reading the translation at a loud voice it was sounding metallic like Mork saying to Mindy if you are in your forties you know what I am talking about Me Morky want be you friend. The monster swallows words, articles, and does not recognize the female in me, and when there is a double meaning in a word it just picks up one at random. Which makes my post sooooooooo weird, I tell you.

Truly horrified, I went quickly on Facebook where I had trumpeted about the translation tool to tell everybody what are you doing next holiday? There is an amazing intensive course in English that I would warmly suggest you to attend and back I went to my English writing. I actually don’t know why this blog has come out in English and cannot figure it out in Italian. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME?

According to the theory of my past lives my own personal theory I was probably writing, long time ago, disguising my sex with trousers and jacket, at candle lights, with a feather in my hand.

Writing love letters, of course...

Love and Rainbow

Lorenza

Copyright2009LorenzaVerdini

LOVELY AWARD

Please stand up for the ceremony, five minutes silence before the National Italian Anthem.

 

Parapa’ parapa’ parappappapaa’

Fratelli d’Italia

L’Itaaaaalia s’e’ desta

Dell’elmo di Scipio s’e’ cinta la testa…

 

I always wondered why most anthem sound so sad. I enjoy the Italian one because it is joyful. I would like to know, from my British friends, what do they think of the fact that God should save the Queen. What about all the others? 

 

Today it is chilly outside and cloudy, the perfect day to celebrate and bring a smile in everybody’s life.

 

Because whatever happens, today and tomorrow, It ‘ll happen for a reason and in that reason there will be something good to learn.

 

So let us welcome today’s experiences and let’s sit together in class: ssssshhhh teacher Life is talking.

 

 

Love & Rainbow

Lorenza

Copyright2009LorenzaVerdini

I AM STILL BAD AT COMPUTER STUFF

The miracle did not happen. Rome was not built in a day, I guess...  I am still very bad with the computer and this "monster" takes advantage of me! What is happening now, is that you see strange colors in my writing and it is not meant to be like that ! It just happens and I do not know how to control or stop it! I need to wait for Isobel to come back from holidays to try to fix it. So in the meantime, apologies for all the difficulties that can arise during the reading. It is truly hard to cope with a "possessed" machine for someone like me, peaceful and old-fashioned... Often I wake up early in the morning (5 o'clock in winter time is early isn't it?) to write my morning pages, strictly by hand, in Italian, on my Moleskine. I just enjoy the total silence of the house, I light a couple of candles on, and I start writing at the candle light, in the dark of the early  morning. Max, our german shepherd, looks at me quite puzzled, but he cannot afford to make disrespectful comments , only because I feed him every day and this scores for me. Although being a fan of the handwriting, I wish I could start to communicate with this computer  in order to understand each other, with no mutual expectations, having a fulfilled and mature relationship. Isn't it what we try to pursue in our life? 

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini