THE JOURNEY part 3

In this part of my Journey, we land into my heart. It is a very strong experience because there I meet important people in my life.

 

 

Our shuttle takes us somewhere else, but I do not know what to expect. I get off warily, I have got the feeling to be at a King’s court. I look around and see a huge heart that dominates majestically this place. It is beautiful, red, with a white vein that runs through it like an upside down V. Like my small pebble, my fellow traveller. I feel moved because I can see it beating. My sister and I get closer to see it better; the more we get closer, the more curious we are. It is huge, imposing, rhythmically beating just in front of me. I feel very small and have a feeling of deep respect: I know I am in the presence of a King. I want to see what it looks like so, calling my sister I hold her hand and we jump inside the heart. I am speechless: there is psychedelic lights and disco dance music of the 80s. We start to laugh and dance in unrestrained way, like two young girls for the first time in a disco. It ‘s an awesome feeling, the ground is so soft and swinging it feels like being on a water mattress. We start jumping high like on a trampoline, and we laugh. And more we laugh the more we jump. Betty is really cool. We jump, we fall, we get up, we tumble turn, we jump again and we laugh inside this crazy heart that gives us such a fun! Exhausted but happy we sit on the soft ground, cross-legged in front of each other. We stay still for a while, just looking into each other’s eyes and communicating with our hearts. I feel somebody’s presence and turning my face I see two young girls, smiling quietly next to us. I look at them but I know who they are. I recognize them, it is us when we were children. Suddenly a lightning in my mind: Betty the princess no.2, the one always responsible and mature, the one of  “work before pleasure”, the shorter and chubby one, a talent who does not win, the one who hasn’t got fighting temper. I feel a terrible pain and silent tears start rolling down my cheeks: I can feel, in every cell of my body what my sister, as a child, feels. I am her, in every breath and every glance. And I understand. I have never thought about it, why? Why I have never realised how difficult it could be for her to have a sister who is often first? I did not want this, I did not want to hurt her. I did not want differences between us. The two of us children are smiling and quiet. They are playing together. They are pretty; I can see they love each other a lot. So true love is stronger than difference, than sorrow, than shade. I now understand that maybe I was the favourite one and my heart feels a sharp pain. I turn myself and I see my youngest daughters, Clara and Eva; they are playing nicely with the two of us children. I understand, I understand, I understand everything. And on the other side I see my parents. We are eight people sitting in circle. We communicate without talking. But it is time to leave the heart.

 

 

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini