LAST ON THE LIST

I want to spend few more words on the concept of false priorities and becoming, consequently, THE LAST ON THE LIST. I don't really know if it is only a cultural upbringing (mine is Italian, after all) but I find that I personally have assumed the role of the factotum mum, or Mrs. Fixit. The reason why I led myself in being omnipresent in the family life probably lies on the fact that I wanted to fill the gap created by my husband 's vacancy in whatever "secondary" matter would rise in our daily life. Of course I understand that, being such a busy and clever business man, certain daily issues were only bothering itchy stuff that I could deal with. So I made the biggest mistake of my life... I started to be WONDER WOMAN. The problem is that for long time I truly believed that what I was doing was right... how silly. I was only burning out all my energies putting myself as the last on the list. Everything and everybody was coming before me. So I thought I cannot not go to gym because I have to take care of the children. I did not go to the hairdresser for what? I did not give my soul the pleasure of reading I am so tired that as soon as I touch the bed I fall asleep nor the immense and absolute pleasure of writing writing, writing, what is writing? Nothing personal or related to any of my wishes or desires was part of my daily life. Only duty duty duty, make everything work. Even worse I had not finished my University studies that I loved so much, because of the family's responsibilities . So, slowly slowly I felt like one of Michael Jackson's zombies. I was the only one responsible for that, nobody else's responsibility I swear, because although I did not have my husband support do we really need our husbands' support ? he has never told me "don't do this and that". There must be something wrong with my brains I was feeling "guilty" to leave the children home with a baby sitter and not being there for them hey, wonder woman, what is wrong with you? I thought I could make them feel my love "cutting and pasting" everything for them. Oh no... my goodness I was really blind.  I needed a cancer to wake me up. So this is the panorama that was part of my survivor daily life when I decided to join my husband in South Africa (do you remember the movie Rambo ? I think that in some period of my life I really looked like him...).

After all this experience, now I recognize my mistakes and can truly affirm that women, especially mothers, are multidimensional and multi sensorial beings, because in developing the "mother instinct" they act and live at a superior level that transcend the very linear "way of thinking" familiar to our partners: the male thinking CAUSE-EFFECT, end of the story, only one thing at the time and after gym, please. We do not act nor live according to the cause-effect law of physics because we can do 100 different things at the same time, taking responsibility for the family , children and their lives and our own personal life and work, being always focused and present. This amazing multidimensional being is called WOMAN, lucky ones who can still  appreciate the difference in the MAN in our life. Last thought for today: I am not too much into religions but I notice that in the most developed eastern ones the most important deities are females. 

So, lets us celebrate today our special multidimensional being and  MOTHER EARTH.

Love & rainbow

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini