MOVING TO SOUTH AFRICA

Once back to Italy, I spent a couple of months packing up big boxes of books I cannot go without, two thirds of our wardrobes, the one third being skiing and very heavy winter clothes, lots of toys oh no, why do we have to take all this? and other stuff that I thought would be useful in the immediate once arrived in the “promised land”. So I was bouncing myself between the very organized and the emotional one who was, somewhere deep inside sorry to leave. Have you realized that you are about to leave your beloved Tuscany, your family and a bunch of good friends, the best food in the world, the most beautiful hill landscape, the art of historical buildings in the streets? Yes I think I had realized all that but I could not forget the feeling of belonging that sprang from the South African holiday and my husband was there, so I wanted to give the family the chance to be together. The children were fine, except for my older one who was thirteen and a half, the most “Italian one” of the four. She was tearful and anxious about the change, mainly about the fact that she would have go to an English school, and at the time she was speaking only Italian. So, to cope with her feelings, she was writing a journal that was heartbreaking…The youngest one, four at the time, was making herself comfortable using her creative side: she was drawing on the bedroom walls, painting furniture of course while I was sweating and packing up in the hot Italian summer and also expressing her deepest form of art in body painting herself, naked, with black paint. From head to toes, she did not forget one inch of her skin… When I saw her I had such a fright oh my God what is that! Don’t move, don’t touch anything, don’ breathe, no no please breathe but form your nose….helpppppppppppppp I lift her from the floor and put her in the bath where, after 45 minutes of brushing, she looked like my naughty baby again. My friends know what kind of character she is.

I put the records of my mind in fast forwards now… At the airport we paid the amount of a full flight ticket for exceeding weight of our luggage come on, there must be a mistake, we only have 14 luggage! What a petty thing, can’t you see it? The employee could not see it a small thing, so we paid all the money. There was a very emotional tension all around, my family had come and they were just putting back the tears, not very successfully I must say. I had a lump in my throat although I was trying to hold it in a very professional way I don’t like to cry in public, not even at the movies

My sister and I had made a deal ok we don’t cry, by the way it is only a goodbye; we ‘ll be back by Christmas to celebrate altogether. Please please don’t cry, if you start I won’t be able to hold it… But when my oldest daughter hugged tightly my niece Camilla and both started to sob desperately in each other’s arms, I looked for one second into my sister’s eyes and we both started too. Then my other niece Giulia hugged the small ones and started to cry, my mother was devastated I know I am taking your grandkids from you and you’ll miss us so much and I was feeling so guilty for creating such a pain in everybody. It was a real symphony.

My brother in law looked like somebody at a funeral but he tried hard to keep himself calm. I must say the “boys” succeeded. Once on the airplane I let myself go to all the tears I could pour out of my soul, Pisa/Paris, 1 hour and a half flight, sobbing with my daughter, feeling such a sharp pain in my heart.

The rest of the flight, Paris/Johannesburg was like the rest of the warrior, so exhausted by all those tears I think I fell deeply asleep . As soon as we landed, I started to feel good I don’t know how to explain but I love this place, the noises, the colours, those people willing to help, for the tip ok, but still willing to help, the landscape so different, wild and vast, the scream of the hadidas at five o’clock in the morning...

So the new life started, it was the beginning of a re-birth for me. We had quite a few difficulties but I guess it was normal. In the whole picture I can say the children adjusted in a short time purely because they are perfect creatures.

We, the adults, always have to mess up with our lives, because we seem to be more comfortable in the “drama” than in simplicity and serenity. It must be our troubled Karma. How many lives do we need to understand the magic of Life?

 

 

Love & Rainbow

 

Copyright 2009 Lorenza Verdini