MORK and MINDY

Today, because it is another beautiful day I won’t plan a single word of what I am going to write now but I never do. Which can be dangerous or, at least embarrassing.

I succeeded in introducing Google Translate on my blog, to make life easier to my Italian friends (they are not queuing at the Internet Café’ to read my blog but I know some of them are affectionate, so…). I was overwhelmed with joy for this successful step in my “computer education” when I decided to USE THE MONSTER.

I clicked on the Italian language and, at the first attempt it translated only 37 % of the post. It looked like a kind of psychotic text where every single word was messed up with English and Italian. Half a sentence was in Italian, half in English. I thought Jeeez what have I done? What strange key have I pressed? But because I am irreparably optimistic I waited a little bit and went for another try. This time the whole text was translated, so I ordered my cappuccino, sat comfortably and smiled admired at Google God Technology.

Well…well…what I was reading were not my words. Who wrote this? it was a kind of robotized monologue, coming from the worst of my nightmares. A real macho robotized monologue where the author the author it’s me guys, not him!!!! speaks in first person as a male! You probably know that my language is not only very old and traditional: it is a gentleman language where feminine and masculine still exist; where the feminine words end with an A and the masculine mostly end with O. The masculine words leave the way to the feminine ones with an elegant bow. When you talk in Italian you don’ t say BRAVO to a girl but BRAVA and I guess this is the charming difference it is not a big hassle, just come to Italy for 3 months and you’ll be fluently doing shopping, putting on weight and using your hands to talk in the street, I promise you. So basically reading the translation at a loud voice it was sounding metallic like Mork saying to Mindy if you are in your forties you know what I am talking about Me Morky want be you friend. The monster swallows words, articles, and does not recognize the female in me, and when there is a double meaning in a word it just picks up one at random. Which makes my post sooooooooo weird, I tell you.

Truly horrified, I went quickly on Facebook where I had trumpeted about the translation tool to tell everybody what are you doing next holiday? There is an amazing intensive course in English that I would warmly suggest you to attend and back I went to my English writing. I actually don’t know why this blog has come out in English and cannot figure it out in Italian. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME?

According to the theory of my past lives my own personal theory I was probably writing, long time ago, disguising my sex with trousers and jacket, at candle lights, with a feather in my hand.

Writing love letters, of course...

Love and Rainbow

Lorenza

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